............When he's in Paris.
With apologies to the 5% of the 3500 Paris agencies who do a good job and work hard to fill requests from those searching for property.
When people ask me if I work with Real Estate agents in Paris, I balk. How can you possibly associate me with these people (and plus, I work for the buyer, not the seller!)? We all love to hate Real estate agents everywhere but I have never experienced anything like the laziness, unprofessionalism and sheer downright inefficiency of the Parisian pack. I can't stand being classed in the same breath as them.
And they hate me. Even though I take absolutely no part of their commission and have serious buyers as clients which is why I am in their agency. I guess it's because as I accompany people I am also advising them of a fair price, negotiating for them and requesting paperwork to verify everything the Agent spouts. "Oh the building won't need cleaned for at least another ten years, Vous n’inquiétez pas Monsieur".
Here are some of the comments this week - and here I am just an ordinary client calling by telephone, they don't know I'm from Bonapart Consulting. Each question I pose is like drawing blood from a stone - why am I calling up and bothering them with my requests?
Me: "And the size?"
Agent: "80m²" - in an irritated and impatient manner
Me: "Which floor please?"
Agent: "3rd" - deep sigh
Me on telephone: "Do you mind telling me if that's the street to the left or right of the Square?"
Agent: "Why don't you get hold of a map and look it up for yourself."
Me: after visiting an apartment on sale for nearly 4 million euros (so expecting service to be a little more pointu):
Well thank you, this is a magnificent property and I'd like to get back to my client very quickly so they can arrange to come to France and view it. Can you send me the floor plan by email this afternoon please"
Agent: "That's out of the question, my Secretary leaves at 3pm on a Friday and I can't possibly go back to the office"
Me on telephone: "Hello, I'm ringing to remind you to send me the details on the property on rue Spontini, I'd like to see them and arrange a visit as soon as possible, it's just what I'm looking for. Your colleague seems to have forgotten to send me the details, I called yesterday".
Agent: "Well you'll have to wait. he's on the phone and he'll get back to you in his own time. We've got too many things to do and we don't have a scanner in this office".
I protested but the feeling I got was a familiar one, I know the woman just rolled up my details and fired them into the nearest wastepaper bin, nominally to "teach me a lesson".
Why are they so busy? They spend their time phoning up ownes who are selling their properties privately and pestering them to give their fantastically proactive agency the Mandat to sell it. When they get their property they just stick it on a website and wait for the people to call them.
Even when you do call up they'll be dismissive on the phone and very rarely call you back to follow your search (if you even suceed in getting them to register the details in the first place). You have to usually physically plant yourself in their office and threaten to squat there before you can get them to discuss that. Inevitably they apply the most repellent Parisian sarcasm when you give the budget, it is NEVER enough for what you want, (especially if you know very well the price per m² and are not prepared to pay over the odds). Sometimes they give a nasty little smirk and laugh at this point.
As for managing apartments for furnished rentals they are a joke. I've had owners with sumptuous apartments come to me in desperation asking why their palace with an 80m² roof terrace has been on two agencies books for 3 months (for a pififul rent) and won't shift. Perhaps because I found out it was impossible to even make a visit with them as they never returned calls, they never replied to email (usually it's a one email address with Wanadoo that serves for the entire agency and no one ever reads it let alone responds) and they couldn't be bothered to even make the visits. Finally when they relinquished the keys (after a fight) it was rented to a happy Bonapart relocation client within 2.5 days.
I shouldn't complain, this inefficiency gives my company it's competitive advantage but it's still shocking how things function here. What I keep asking myself is, how the hell do they make any money?
I guess I'll put this in the "Paris Curiosities" section.
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